You know... I'm sitting here, trying to think of something clever to write for my first entry and I just realized I don't even know why I registered in the first place. Perhaps it was the pretty colours, maybe it was the excitement of having a few kilobytes of Cyberspace to call my own. Whatever it was, it's done and there's nothing I can do to change it!

I must carry on, not letting anything stand in my way! Not even that treacherous woman they call "Jade." Certainly not that beastly maiden. She thinks she can stifle my antics with her proper speech and her wooden spoon!? How dare she!? I'll show her. I'll show her all the way to the seething pits of Lucifer's Kingdom!!!

I've never held such contempt for an individual, but she really gets my blood boiling. Anyone who can't laugh at a good practical joke doesn't deserve to have lungs. Besides, it's not like her kids were electrocuted all that bad. Sure, Anthony's hair is a little frizzy now, but that boy could use some texture in his otherwise dull appearance. I'm also positive that Jeffrey quite enjoys the involuntary muscle spasms. I hear they've helped turn him into quite the class clown!

So you see, everything works out for the best. No harm done! I'm a saint and "Jade" is just an unsightly old hag.

Up the irons!